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Episodes
The Relationship Show with Dr. Wendy & Miss Jenni is a casual conversation between two friends and colleagues, taking serious topics not so seriously. For Entertainment Purposes Only.
Episodes
Tuesday Sep 22, 2015
Tuesday Sep 22, 2015
Episode 13 - “Ashley Madison Hack: The Impact of Affairs, Technology, & Schadenfreude on Committed Relationships”: Part 2
Looking for emotional connection outside a romantic relationship might mean game over for some people, or it could just be a game some people play.
In Part 2 of this episode, Wendy, Jenni, & Candace continue their conversation on the Ashley Madison hack and what it says about technology’s power to prevent and distract from intimacy. These days, with the fantasy of an affair being just a click away, how do we stay focused on our partners?? How does anyone trust their partners - especially if they’ve been hurt before?
Perhaps the answer to it all is hidden in Shakespeare’s Sonnet one sixteen… tune in to find out!
**Correction: in this episode Miss Jenni refers to an essay on UnMonogamy by Camille Paglia - which is incorrect. The essay entitled "UnMonogamy: Loving Tricks and Tricking Lovers” was written by author Pat Califia and is included in her book “Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex” (2nd edition, 2000)
www.DoctorWendyOConnor.com
e: DrWendyOConnor@gmail.com
fb: https://www.facebook.com/askdrwendy
tw: @askDrWendy
www.JenniJVWilson.com
e: JenniferJVWilson@gmail.com
fb: www.facebook.com/JenniJVWilson
tw: @JenniJVWilson
www.CandaceMcKenzie.net
tw: @CMcKenzieD
Resources & Clips:
Recommended Ashley Madison Hack Coverage - http://www.wired.com/tag/ashley-madison/
AshleyMadison.com
Nancy Wilson - Face It Girl, It’s Over
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQXagInaXIU
Esther Perel
Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt
John Gottman
Pat Califia - Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex - "UnMonogamy: Loving Tricks and Tricking Lovers"
http://pdfbook.caninebytes.com/read-free-online/620927.Public_Sex.html
Peggy Vaughn - The Monogamy Myth
http://www.dearpeggy.com/myth.html
Erik Erikson’s Stages of Development
http://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html
William Shakespeare - Sonnet 116
Friday Sep 18, 2015
Friday Sep 18, 2015
Episode 12 - “Ashley Madison Hack, Part 1: The Impact of Affairs, Technology, & Schadenfreude on Committed Relationships”
Due to hackers exposing millions of AshleyMadison.com users, recent conversations around the globe have been more focused on technology and infidelity in committed relationships. Are online sites like Ashley Madison just the new personal ads?
What constitutes an affair? Could even fantasizing become forbidden fruit? Is sexual monogamy the only way of expressing loyalty and commitment in long-term relationships? Should a partner’s infidelity always be a traumatic event or is un-monogamy just another untamable part of human nature?
In this episode, Dr. Wendy and I are joined by Candace Dale Mckenzie (www.candacemckenzie.net) to take a closer look at the potential impact of the Ashley Madison Hack and the psychological consequences this cyber crime might have on modern romance.
www.DoctorWendyOConnor.com
e: DrWendyOConnor@gmail.com
fb: https://www.facebook.com/askdrwendy
tw: @askDrWendy
www.JenniJVWilson.com
e: JenniferJVWilson@gmail.com
fb: www.facebook.com/JenniJVWilson
tw: @JenniJVWilson
Resources:
Recommended Ashley Madison Hack Coverage - http://www.wired.com/tag/ashley-madison/
AshleyMadison.com
Esther Perel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2AUat93a8Q
Rupert Holmes - Escape (The Piña Colada Song)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TazHNpt6OTo
Frank Sinatra - All or Nothing At All
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfeBAo-08c0
Peaches & Herb - Reunited
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaem79tZ6W4
Jill Sobule - The Girl In The Affair
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnfszQjELrQ
Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive
Monday Aug 24, 2015
Monday Aug 24, 2015
Episode 11 - “Ghosting” - the Haunting Goodbye
Breaking up has always been hard to do – so is “ghosting” - the haunting goodbye - just a new way of doing the same old thing – you know, that conflict avoidant thing formerly known as bailing, ditching, or blowing someone off? Disappearing without a trace, ghosting is proving itself to be the newest trend in breaking off a relationship with no contact and no explanation.
Current stats show women ghost more often than men, and that the majority of those under age 30 are using digital media to break-up with people - significant or otherwise. Breaking up face-to-face or even over a phone call is becoming as rare as the critically endangered Cross River Gorilla. So, what matters more – the message or the messaging system?
What do you do when being iced out with no closure? What’s the etiquette if you’re the ghoster or ghostee?
And does ghosting speak to a larger societal or generational trend? Or is this just human nature being played out on cell phones in the hands of old and young alike?
In this episode, Dr. Wendy and I are joined by Candace Dale Mackenzie (www.candacemckenzie.net) for a conversation about the psychology and impact of saying goodbye by going radio silent.
www.DoctorWendyOConnor.com
e: DrWendyOConnor@gmail.com
fb: https://www.facebook.com/askdrwendy
tw: @askDrWendy
www.JenniJVWilson.com
e: JenniferJVWilson@gmail.com
fb: www.facebook.com/JenniJVWilson
tw: @JenniJVWilson
Resources:
Modern Romance - by Aziz Ansari (with Eric Klinenberg)
Billie Holiday - These Foolish Things
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_20tKuKtF8
Psychedelic Furs - Ghost In You
Wednesday Aug 05, 2015
Wednesday Aug 05, 2015
Episode 10 - "Borderline Personality and Narcissistic Personality in a Relationship: Part 2" - In part 2 of this episode, we continue our exploration of what’s likely to happen when a BPD* meets an NPD** and they fall in love.
Sure these are some mighty attractive people, but what’s the attraction? And they can be some of the smartest people you’ll ever meet, so why can’t they break the fight-fuck cycle? What’s the long-term likelihood these two will stay together and actually work it out?
In our efforts to illustrate some of the behaviors and relationship dynamics we’re talking about, we refer to popular songs, high profile personalities and or couples, and recognizable pairings from real or fictional relationships.
Tweet us your own #ToxicLove sitings in movies or TV at @AskDrWendy!
*It is important to note, every person is different. The information in this podcast is not meant to be used as a clinical diagnosis.
**Another important thing to point out is that we believe strongly that people are not their diagnoses. However, in conversation about these personality disorders professionals often resort to shorthand, referring to someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) as "a borderline" or someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) as “a narcissist”. We are no exception. However, this is a habit you will hear us actively trying to break in this public forum.
www.DoctorWendyOConnor.com
e: DrWendyOConnor@gmail.com
fb: https://www.facebook.com/askdrwendy
tw: @askDrWendy
www.JenniJVWilson.com
e: JenniferJVWilson@gmail.com
fb: www.facebook.com/JenniJVWilson
tw: @JenniJVWilson
CLIPS:
Madonna - Borderline
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSaC-YbSDpo
Macy Gray - Boo - no official video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqWwRnf0eRA
Black Eyed Peas - Shut Up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRzMtlZjXpU
Tina Turner - What’s Love Got to Do with It
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGpFcHTxjZs
Everything But the Girl - Rollercoaster
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQZNZ44ooZACaro Emerald - That Man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9Xtl22x5Sg
RESOURCES mentioned:
ONLINE -
Welcome to Oz Forum -
https://www.bpdcentral.com/faq/family-member
https://www.bpdcentral.com/narcissistic-disorder/hallmarks-of-npd/
https://www.bpdcentral.com/borderline-disorder/hallmarks-of-bpd/
National Alliance on Mental Illness - https://www.nami.org/
BOOKS -
Stop Walking On Eggshells - by Paul T. Mason, MS, and Randi Kreger
Stop Walking on Eggshells workbook - by Randi Kreger
Disarming the Narcissist - Wendy T. Behary
DVDs -
Burton and Taylor - DVD
War of The Roses - Blu-ray
Monday Aug 03, 2015
Monday Aug 03, 2015
Episode 9 - "Borderline Personality and Narcissistic Personality in a Relationship: Part 1" - In part one, we discuss what Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) look and feel like to the uninitiated.
We explore what’s likely to happen when a BPD meets a NPD and they fall in love. We point out some of the recognizable developmental similarities between these two diagnoses, and talk about what can happen when these two choose to have children together.
*It's important to note that every person is different. The information in this podcast is not meant to be used as a clinical diagnosis.
**Another important thing to point out is that we believe strongly that people are not their diagnoses. However, in conversation about these personality disorders professionals often resort to shorthand, referring to someone with BPD as "a borderline" or someone with NPD as “a narcissist”. We are no exception. However, this is a habit you will hear us actively trying to break in this public forum.
www.DoctorWendyOConnor.com
e: DrWendyOConnor@gmail.com
fb: https://www.facebook.com/askdrwendy
tw: @askDrWendy
www.JenniJVWilson.com
e: JenniferJVWilson@gmail.com
fb: www.facebook.com/JenniJVWilson
tw: @JenniJVWilson
SONG CLIPS from:
Katy Perry - Hot N Cold
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTHNpusq654
Madonna - Borderline
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSaC-YbSDpo
Carly Simon - You're So Vain
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j13oJajXx0M
Ann Margaret - Let Me Entertain You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zk4SyakxFWU
Macy Gray - Still
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXhqT7XlFeM
Billy Joel - She's Always A Woman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx3QmqV2pHg
Joan Armatrading - When I Get It Right
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuwJZN_MeQ4
Rod Stewart - Da Ya Think I'm Sexy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hphwfq1wLJs
Tuesday Jun 23, 2015
Tuesday Jun 23, 2015
Episode 8 - “Secrets and Lies: Part 2" - In part 2 of this episode, Dr. Wendy and Miss Jenni continue their conversation with Candace Dale McKenzie, LMFT - (www.candacemckenzie.net). As they further explore the influence of “Secrets and Lies” on modern relationships, these off-duty therapists take a closer look at deceptions in social media, internet dating, and what it all might have to do with the latest season of Bravo TV’s “Shahs of Sunset”…
Even if we all keep secrets and tell lies, can we minimize their negative impact on our lives and in our most important relationships? You’ll have to listen, because we’ll never tell!
www.DoctorWendyOConnor.com
e: DrWendyOConnor@gmail.com
fb: https://www.facebook.com/askdrwendy
tw: @askDrWendy
www.JenniJVWilson.com
e: JenniferJVWilson@gmail.com
fb: www.facebook.com/JenniJVWilson
tw: @JenniJVWilson
Resources mentioned:
http://www.bravotv.com/shahs-of-sunset
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoYmWT_TDQs
Wednesday Jun 17, 2015
Wednesday Jun 17, 2015
Episode 7 - “Secrets and Lies: Part 1" - In this episode, Dr. Wendy and Miss Jenni sit down with their pal Candace Dale McKenzie, LMFT (www.candacemckenzie.net) to explore what influence “Secrets and Lies” can have on our relationships.
Should we tell our partners and children everything? Do we HAVE to? And how much information is TOO much information? Even if we all keep secrets and tell lies, can we minimize their negative impact on our lives and in our most important relationships?
www.DoctorWendyOConnor.com
e: DrWendyOConnor@gmail.com
fb: https://www.facebook.com/askdrwendy
tw: @askDrWendy
www.JenniJVWilson.com
e: JenniferJVWilson@gmail.com
fb: www.facebook.com/JenniJVWilson
tw: @JenniJVWilson
Wednesday May 13, 2015
Wednesday May 13, 2015
Episode 6 - "Chemistry and Compatibility: Part 2" - Dr. Wendy & Miss Jenni continue their conversation on Chemistry & Compatibility on the eve of the 2015 Erickson Foundation Couples Therapy Convention. "Twin-ship" may be creepy in a devoted couple, but is it better if opposites attract? They share more thoughts on noted compatibility areas such as: sex, religion, and politics, “pontificate” on the attractiveness of seeing one’s partner radiant & enthusiastic, and spitball on ways to rediscover lost chemistry when the “hotness” wears off.
www.DoctorWendyOConnor.com
e: DrWendyOConnor@gmail.com
fb: https://www.facebook.com/askdrwendy
tw: @askDrWendy
www.JenniJVWilson.com
e: JenniferJVWilson@gmail.com
fb: www.facebook.com/JenniJVWilson
tw: @JenniJVWilson
Resources mentioned:
John Gottman w/Nan Silver - https://www.gottman.com/couples/
“The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work” and
“What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal”
Harville Hendrix and Helen Lakelly Hunt - http://www.harvillehendrix.com/
“Getting The Love You Want: A Guide For Couples”
Gary Chapman - http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
“The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts"
"Myers-Briggs” Type/MBTI-like Tests (unofficial):
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp
http://personality-testing.info/tests/OEJTS/
Friday May 08, 2015
Friday May 08, 2015
Episode 5 - "Chemistry and Compatibility: Part 1" - From the Manhattan Beach Marriott, Dr. Wendy & Miss Jenni sat down on the eve of the 2015 Erickson Foundation Couples Therapy Convention to split a Snickers bar and traverse the topic of Chemistry and Compatibility in long-term Coupledom. Is one more important than the other? Should we all be looking for our twin or our complete opposite?
www.DoctorWendyOConnor.com
e: DrWendyOConnor@gmail.com
fb: https://www.facebook.com/askdrwendy
tw: @askDrWendy
www.JenniJVWilson.com
e: JenniferJVWilson@gmail.com
fb: www.facebook.com/JenniJVWilson
tw: @JenniJVWilson
Wednesday Mar 25, 2015
Wednesday Mar 25, 2015
Episode 4 - "Body Image, Self-Esteem, and Eating Disorders in Relationships: Part 2" - In Part 2 of this episode, Dr. Wendy & Miss Jenni continue their conversation with Candace Dale McKenzie, LMFT (www.candacemckenzie.net) on Body Image, Eating Disorders, Self-Esteem, and Relationships. Providing tips and resources to challenge the messages keeping us stuck, they share ideas on improving interactions with those who might not think as much of themselves as others do.
Hashtag mentioned: #messagetomyyoungerself
www.DoctorWendyOConnor.com
e: DrWendyOConnor@gmail.com
fb: https://www.facebook.com/askdrwendy
tw: @askDrWendy
www.JenniJVWilson.com
e: JenniferJVWilson@gmail.com
fb: www.facebook.com/JenniJVWilson
tw: @JenniJVWilson